Skip to main content

Uncle Mark.."FA"

Uncle Mark; Check the "GREEN CUP", Mom's Coca Cola cup. It went EVERYWHERE she went.

Dad and Uncle Mark back in the day...."Fa's" shirt was very Princely, huh?

Uncle Mark with his son, Mark at Christmas



This has been a week of a lot of reflection. It'll be a heavy bloggin' weekend probably but whatever.

I was thinking about my uncle Mark this week. He was on my mind alot mainly because he's grandson is going to be a father. My cousin is 18 and has dropped out of high school. I'm sure my uncle isn't too happy with that situation. My uncle passed away in 2005, a year after mom. He was also my mother's best friend so his death was very hard for me as my mom's death was very hard for him. My uncle pulled me aside after mom's death and apologized to me for not calling me and talking with me very much. He said I reminded him of her too much. That was so hard for me. My uncle was the family member I could vent to about mom. When she was driving me a little nutty (funny that I'm becoming just like her in this area), I could talk with him. He was so cool.

My uncle had muscular dystrophy and lived a very long life with the disease. My uncle died at 60 and yet was told he would be dead by the age of 15. He lived by the philosophy of "Why not me?". He never had an issue about his disability unlike his brother who also had the illness. He made lemonade out of lemons. The one thing that anyone would say about my uncle was that he was HILARIOUS. My uncle could find humor in any situation. I remember when I was in the 8th grade and I got an F in English. That doesn't even sound right huh? I did and the family made a big deal of it. My uncle would draw pictures of the letter "F". He would say, "Hey Rhonda" and I would turn around and he would hold up a pic of the letter and laugh his butt off. He was a big teaser. He was a funny, funny dude.

He also gave us "kids" our nicknames. Mine was "Silly" because he said I was silly little girl. Sydney's nickname was "Faces" because she would weird faces as a baby AND because I met her dad at Faces nightclub...lol. My aunts still call Syd, "Faces". We all had some sort of name, "tiger", "pretty", "dice", "somebody", "queen", etc. etc. He used to call my grandmother, "BIG BLUE" because she use to wear a blue uniform daily. She hated it but it was funny.

He also was a GREAT cook. Between him and my aunt Addie, we would have the most fabulous food. Sometimes you would have to ask, "What is this?" because they would watch the Food Network and get way too hyped on cooking some weird stuff. No matter what they would try, it was unbelievable what they could do in that kitchen. If you were there in the house, you were helping to cook. Uncle Mark would need someone to get the ingredients, get the food out of the oven, etc. etc. You became his assistant and it was cool. I was also impressed with his wealth of knowledge. He was well read and could speak on any topic. He was impressive.

I miss my uncle. He was so important to our family. We CELEBRATED each one of his birthday's like it was a holiday. We understood how blessed we where to have him. On the way to the hospital, the afternoon of his death, my cousin was riding in the ambulance with him. She was crying and upset. He was having heart failure, something that happens with those living with muscular dystrophy. He told her, "Don't cry. I've been blessed. Its just my time."

Some WEIRD stuff happened that day. I got the call he was on his way to the hospital. I didn't have a car so I was stuck home. Maybe an hour later, my cousin calls me up after an hour of being at the hospital. She's now at my brother's house and she's crying so hard. I'm talking with her and then (the weird part) I hear, "Charlotte is there". Ok, I believe in hearing the voice of God and all of that but there are times I get FREAKED out by it. Just saying. It's WEIRD but I knew Who was saying it so I told her that Mom is there with him and she's coming to get her brother. YEP..i said it. Sounds nutty but God can be a little nutty....yanno. I told her to have my brother to get her to the hospital IMMEDIATELY.

My brother drops her off and goes to park the car. She's in the room with her dad and brother. My uncle begins to complain about the oxygen mask. He doesn't want it on his face. He says, "Charlotte, make them take it off." He continues to talk with my mother. My cousin keeps telling him that her aunt isn't there but my uncle doesn't listen. He continues to talk with her about the oxygen mask. I just remember Tracy saying how confused she was with it all.

Ok.....it gets even more WEIRD. My brother says he walked in to the room (not knowing anything about the oxygen mask stuff) and he SEES our mother laying in the bed with my uncle. He freaks out. Hmmmmm.......well, my uncle was talking to her, right? My brother isn't the most spiritual dude in he world so........WEIRD.

Shortly after. I get a call. My uncle passed away. :(

God is orderly because my mother HAD to pass away before my uncle. She would have been INSANE at the death of her brother.

The family was so drained already. We were still missing mom and now FA is gone.

We didn't know one year later, Aunt Addie would go to be with them too.

Miss YOU Uncle Mark.

Silly.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Confessions of a Recovering Misogynist" by Kevin Powell

In the past few weeks, I've had the opportunity to have very brief conversations with Kevin Powell. Its very interesting to speak with someone with similar passions for community service. As someone who has been very transparent on her blog, I find this essay by Kevin refreshing. I just happen to see this on Facebook as someone posted it many months ago.
Thanks KP.


I AM A SEXIST MALE.

I take no great pride in saying this, I am merely stating a fact. It is not that I was born this way-rather, I was born into this male-dominated society, and consequently, from the very moment I began forming thoughts, they formed in a decidedly male-centered way. My "education" at home with my mother, at school, on my neighborhood playgrounds, and at church, all placed males in the middle of the universe. My digestion of the 1970s American popular culture in the form of television, film, ads, and music only added to my training, so that by as early as age nine or ten I saw females, includ…

The Ankh

Ankh : The Original Cross



The Ankh is defined as: The symbolic representation of both Physical and Eternal life. It is known as the original cross, which is a powerful symbol that was first created by Africans in Ancient Egypt.


The Ankh is commonly known to mean life in the language of Ancient Kemet (land of the Blacks) renamed Egypt by the Greeks. It is also a symbol for the power to give and sustain life, the Ankh is typically associated with material things such as water(which was believed by Egyptians to regenerate life), air, sun, as well as with the Gods, who are frequently pictured carrying an Ankh. The Egyptian king is often associated with the Ankh also, either in possession of an Ankh (providing life to his people) or being given an Ankh (or stream of Ankhs) by the Gods. This can be seen in the picture of King Senworsert below who is holding two Ankhs to his chest. There are numerous examples that have been found that were made from metal, clay and wood. It is usually worn as …

sexob

I will never, ever, never, ever live in a box.


again.


If I can't be appreciated, celebrated, loved, and befriended with honestly and openly....with no conditions and controls.....then I can't be....for you.

I'm a good friend.  I'm a good person. I deserve good things from good people who really want to celebrate whatever connection I have with them....outside the box.


I'm free to be.