Mommyhood

Mommy and Sydney, 1998

Today, me and the kid went on a college visit to Indiana State University. Its not our first choice but a choice nonetheless. I like spending time with the Kid. She's a fun chick when she's not acting "teenagery". Its my special word for acting nuts. I asked Syd if she had any questions prepared and she looked at me and said, "I got this." I'm like, oh boy! Me and Syd are different in that I'm a little more prepared for stuff but I'm far from being anal. She makes me nerves with her "I got this" stuff BUT she does always come through.

Mommy and Sydney, Cynthia and Dante in NYC 1991

On the ride to Terre Haute, we talked about Lil' Wayne and Jay-Z and who I felt were the top rappers in the game today. I was like, wow, this Kid thinks I'm still really up on this stuff. We talked about the crappy stuff like that "Get Silly" song. She told me that most don't consider that hip hop but just music for the club. I'm thinking...wow, didn't know that. We went back and forth about Lil' Wayne and Jay-Z. She knows I do have an appreciation for Lil' Wayne and I do LOVE Jigga. So, the conversation then turned to singers. We both stated radio just doesn't promote "real" singers. She mentioned how her friends dogged her love for Avant. SHE LOVES HIM. LOL. It was a fun convo.

Mommy with Sydney and Dante, Children's Museum 1993

"Radio", as her friends call her, started flipping the stations and found the Disney station. Immediately, she started singing something that could have been Ashley Simpson or some other non singing lame chick. The conversation moved to how she aced her debate in government. Sydney is GOOD at debate. She will argue you down over any little thing. Its annoying but has been a part of her personality since she could speak. I really think she should think about law but it doesn't interest her. She said she had to take the position as a republican pushing their platform on healthcare. She's good. It was cute to listen to her. This is when she sounds so much like me and mom. We are some opinionated folks.

Sydney at 4 years old~ Goofball

We get to Terre Haute but have to make a stop at Kmart. Syd needed to change her clothes. Going anywhere with her is an adventure. We are loud. We are goofy and we laugh alot. We have a special way of communicating. Sydney has gone through some tough stuff (hunger, death, near homelessness, strife, family dysfunction, father issues). She has taken it all like a champ. I really admire her. She does get on my nerves some days but she's suppose to do that at times.

I can remember her birth like it was yesterday. I can remember the day I found out I was pregnant with her. WOW. I cried so hard I was put in a room. LOL. I remember dreaming of the day she would graduate from high school and its approaching. Motherhood is tough and single motherhood is incredibly tough. I'm blessed for my village. My friends took on this mission of helping me raise Syd without question. She was OUR kid and Syd still thinks she's the queen bee even though some of my friends have their own children. Yeah, she can be bratty. I'm thankful for my friends and my family for being the village so many don't have.

Sydney - 10th grade
Sydney with Best Friend, Cheyenne~ The Ballers

Sydney always asks me if I would have another kid. If I never have another child, I'm fine but if I was with a man who wasn't a parent and really wanted a child, I would be VERY open to it. I'd never being a SINGLE parent again. NEVER. Too damn hard.

Parenthood is HARD especially if you really take every step seriously but the rewards are so great.

I love my kid. I love mommyhood.

Sydney and Robert, Prom 2008