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This week is National Suicide Prevention week and not that I've been thinking about committing suicide but I have been thinking about the topic. A very well respected community leader committed suicide last week.  I attended his memorial service and I was so moved, confused, and sadden. This was a man that has served people globally and yet decided it was time to go.  I can't say that this person had some underlying mental illness. I don't know. I don't know what was on his heart and why he chose this time to leave but he did. Mental wellness is the last frontier of health.  Even with the mind, body, spirit concept, the body and the spirit get much attention while leaving the mind left alone as if its not a part of the equation.  We think about our bodies in terms of what the scale says and we think about our spirit in terms of what god we serve but miss the connection with the mind.  Being mentally well effects everything we do, believe, and how we live. ...

Its official. My eating disorder is still smacking me in the face. Anytime I see someone with a camera, I'm terrified . I don't want them to take my pic and if they do, I don't want to see it. I'm TERRIFIED. Today, I had my pic taken by a photographer and all I could think about was, "Wow this is horrible timing." I've gained this 20lbs and feel HUGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe. My stomach started to hurt. I was shaking with a smile. :/ I know. No confidence right? Well, whatever. I'm being real and honest. My stomach was twisted every time he showed me a pic. I kept thinking, "I look awful." I smiled and said, ok...yeah, those are GREAT! Yes, I'm in the middle of getting back on track with my weight and diet. My back is still an issue but I'm working through it and I know by this summer, I'll be finally at a healthy weight. I KNOW this. This camera phobia is horrible. Bulimia is horrible. I know there was a lesson in this. I ...