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Showing posts from October, 2009

Didn't you know?

-Oh hey...

Ooh hey
I’m trying to decide
Which way to go
I think I made a wrong turn back there somewhere

Ooh hey
I’m trying to decide
Which way to go
I think I made a wrong turn back there somewhere

Didn’t cha know, didn’t cha know
Tried to move but I lost my way
Didn’t cha know, didn’t cha know
Stopped to watch my emotions sway
Didn’t cha know, didn’t cha know
Knew the toll, but I would not pay
Didn’t cha know, didn’t cha know
Cause you never know where the cards may lay

Time to save the world
Where in the world is all the time
So many things I still don’t know
So many times I’ve changed my mind
Guess I was born to make mistakes
But I ain’t scared to take the weight
So when I stumble off the path
I know my heart will guide me back

Ooh hey
I’m trying to decide
Which way to go
I think I made a wrong turn back there somewhere

Ooh hey
I’m trying to decide
Which way to go
I think I made a wrong turn back there somewhere

Didn’t cha know, didn’t cha know
Tried to run but I lost my way
Didn’t cha know, didn’t cha know
Stopped …

Trust: Revelation.....again

Before I even begin, I'm not going to edit but just write. So has my fingers try to catch up with my brain, work with me.

For the past 6 months, I can honestly say that I've some anxieties about well....me. Today it hit me, again, that the Valley is still in me. TRUST is my new battle I have to overcome and resolve.

I think it finally sunk in this weekend with talking with CWUW members about trusting them. On the surface, I thought I was doing a good job with giving up ownership to others and really trying to give them a piece of "my baby". I really thought about it. I don't trust anyone to be in my corner 100% except my daughter. REAL TALK. I don't expect anyone to have my back. I still have a fear that if something happens to me the ONLY person I can call is the Kid and maybe my dad....maybe.

This is so real that tears are falling as I type this but I have to say it so I can see it and feel it.

When I lost my job and then my mother died, I went into surviva…
I can never see the world the same.

my eyes are open.

and I've never found peace like this when my eyes were closed.

I don't wait on a savior. The Savior has done the job.

This is the tricky of the Church. "Wait on the Lawd!" Why?

I need to pull down, dig deeper, and move forward. I need to read the words of the Sacred Text and then act on them.

Yes, I'm speaking of the Christian Church because that's where I was raised but its so very interesting that my spiritual experiences are deemed "witchcraft" and evil. I've experienced possession. I've heard the voice of God....literally. I've felt the touch and kiss from my mother and I've experienced astral projection. These things are outside of the Christian faith and yet these are the very things that have brought me closer to God. I've been set free from thinking I have to wait and that God is just going to always miraculous provide everything without me doing my part. NO. You…

truth

Truth
Fearing the possibility that I could be
the manifestation of
truth
Spiritually you called down from the heavens
Asked the ancestors
Prayed unto the Divine
allow reality to be near me
to be my reflection
as clear as the Nile
Let me be the one to touch
Truth

In your Power
I stand before you
you tremble
afraid to let go of the past
hurt
anger
death
what do you choose
how can you be
at peace in a lost of love
Truth has decided
to hold your hand
caress your face
kiss your lips
The dream is more than fantasy
Truth is not going away

So what will I do
what will I say
all that I want has been given
the table has been set
my cup runneth over
and I
turn away.


Truth.