Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Boys and their boundaries
This is a sexist blog.
I have to admit it. It goes against my philosophy of not generalizing so I'll make this statement before I continue.
HIS BLOG IS NOT ABOUT ALL MEN. THIS BLOG COMES FROM AN ANGRY PLACE SO PLEASE DISREGARD THE BS THAT'S ABOUT TO OOZE FROM EVERY PORE.
Ok, I feel better now.
Boys, what do you guys think about? Are you selfish ways attached to your chromosomes? Is this gender roles gone bad?
This isn't about one guy or one situation. It just seems that boys are allowed to first look at their needs and guard their emotions, wants and lives without issue to who is harmed. Do I envy this quality? I think I do. Girls are MADE into caregivers. Yes, I know, God has made us to be helpmates and many are natural nurturers but many skills are taught, learned, and banged into our brains. We are to take care of others and their feelings and lives even before ours many times.
I've always had issue with this. When my mom wanted me to fix my brothers plate when we were kids, I didn't get it. I was a kid too. He wasn't much younger than me so WHY? But I did learn the "caregiver" skill. Take care of others. Unfortunately, many women, including myself have let go of having clearly defined boundaries but it seems men don't have an issue with this. Like I said, I think I'm envious. Not that I want to cause any harm to anyone by my decisions but I'm recognizing sometimes you can't help it.
How do you save yourself and protect your needs and wants without hurting someone?
On the flip side, this skill some men haven't learned AT ALL. It would seem that some thought should be put to how your choices affects others or is this just the nurturing side still coming out?
I don't know. I just know that I've watched a few men have NO issue (or seemingly no issue) with drawing the line in the sand. Do I want to become an asshole like that? Yeah, some days I do. I would like to better define my boundaries and my wants and needs. This is a good thing.
Ok, boys aren't stupid.
I still wanna throw rocks though.