Tuesday, June 10, 2008
They threw out the scale!!
Ok, a daily ritual.
I get up in the morning and weigh myself. I weigh myself again after I take a shower. When I come home, I weight myself and then before bed.
Yes, I do have a eating disorder and yes, I have body image issues. The scale has been the demon in the house. I welcomed the demon. Don't dare everyone to throw holy water on it. Its both my lover and my enemy. I feel GREAT when I see it move down, down, down. The moment I see it move the other way, I'm upset.
So, I walked in the house and did my same ole ritual. This time I was on the phone with my friend. I get on the scale and I go, "ugh". My dog, Zeus, actually gave me this crazy look. I said, "Yeah, I know Zeus, this demon scale needs to go." I told my friend that I'm going to have my daughter hide it. She was like, NO!! Destroy the scale. I first thought, "This chick is nuts!!"
Then I thought, "Free yourself Rhonda!" So I agreed. I got off the phone and told my daughter about the plan. She started hoopin' and hollerin'. She said would proudly destroy it. I just stood there like, WOW. She's happy to kill my friend. How mean!!
I decide that I needed to go for a walk. There's a few things running through my brain and I need to work it through. I'm getting Zeus ready for the walk when I look in the kitchen. Syd looks at me and then jumps violently on the scale. I just looked at her, quietly. She said, "That bothers you huh?" And then jumped harder. I just walked away.
I came back from the walk. Scale is gone.
My therapy for the day.