Sunday, July 6, 2008

Mumbo Jumbo


I'm tired but I'm up....grrrrrrrr.

Couple things I wanted to write about so I'm putting it all here.

John Mayer




Buddy Guy, John Mayer, Phil Lesh, ?estlove doing the blues classic (I'm Your) Hoochie Coochie Man


I went to see John Mayer with my buddy Rashida. She is a John Mayer FANATIC! I didn't know whether to watch her or the show. She was too cute. I'm not concert critic so you're not going to get playlists and all of that but I can say, I'm now a fan of John's. I was impressed.

Opening for John were Brett Dennen and Colbie Caillat. I couldn't stand that Colbie Caillat chick. She annoyed me from beginning to end. She sang "Beast of Burden" like she was singing to the Sunnyside retirement home or something. I was annoyed. I'm NOT a fan. No stage presence at all. I went to go use the restroom and find some food. I "people watched" for the second half of her set. The family next to us was too cute. The girls, probably 8 and 12, danced through the entire concert with mom right there shaking her booty too. I watched them. (shrug)

Brett Dennen, I can say I REALLY liked this dude.
This video is soooooooooo illegal but I LOVE this song.


I like his entire set. I'mma check him out.

John Mayer was great from beginning to end. His musicianship was really impressive and I really like his songwriting. Beautifully lyrics.

It was fun. That's all you're getting. Go read the Star for a review. Fun and VERY interesting experience.


Next-

The BS
Something occurred yesterday (with someone else but I've experienced this as well) that really just confirmed that people are punks basically. A friend was telling me how she was talking this some dude and then all of a sudden he stop calling. I just smiled at her because she was CONFUSED. She said why wouldn't he just say he doesn't want to be bothered and just move on. She likes honesty like I do,so in her mind just say it. I told her that people think if they close their eyes, the "issue" will just go away or disappear. He's hoping she will just get the hint and move on instead of being honest AND RESPECTFUL and talking with her. Its a clear sign of disrespect if anyone will treat you like that or a sign of their immaturity. Unfortunately, I know of people that do this BS all the time. No regard to the other person or their feelings. UGH.

The funny thing is that she didn't think there was a love connection either but thought they would make cool friends. I guess he didn't think the same. Lame. I think I have this on my personal pet peeves listed on my myspace blog. My friend will recover. It wasn't that deep BUT it was annoying.

Just be honest with folks. Damn.

We can see through the bs.


Lastly



Bulimia grows another head.

Relapse. Yep, I purged this weekend. Just shows me that I'm far from being "healed". I didn't have an "episode". I didn't go binge. I just simply overate. The full feeling you get when you overeat makes me panic. I feel like I have something crawling in my stomach. My mind races and I start trying to figure out how to get this stuff out of me. Its probably very insane to watch AND this is the first time, in awhile, I've eaten to this point. I avoid it, of course. It was full out insanity. I purged until I couldn't get anything else to come up. For the moment, I felt like I got the "disease" out of me. I was sick for the rest of the night, ruining my evening. My stomach was so messed up. I have VERY bad acid reflux. I've already written how my metabolism is messed up.

Why do I write about this stuff? You may not see a comment left on a blog but I've received many private notes and messages from people with similar experiences thanking me for writing about this stuff. I'll expose me to help others. No big deal.

I'm flawed and I love me. I have a weird sense of security about myself and who I am. You can't tell Rhonda about Rhonda. My bulimia wasn't really about self hatred but a very twisted view of my body and control issues. When I share my story, its funny that people will say, "You're so pretty though." I KNOW...lol. j/k Its not about my face. I'm aight and I like being aight. I have pretty days, ugly days, aight days...all of that is cool. Its deeper. I'm working through it. I'm no different than a drug addict working through sobriety but the difference is that I still have to eat. I can't abstain from food as an drug addict would with drugs.

Good thing. The scale has been gone for a few weeks now. I have no idea what I weigh and I'm really ok with it. YAY!! I'm getting to a healthy place mentally, even with this set back.

mo mumbo jumbo lata!!

4 comments:

dtbz said...

I saw the same John Mayer concert here just before the 4th. I think if you enjoyed that concert you must see Dave Matthews Band next time they come to your area. Colbie Caillat is like that food you eat that seems like it might be good at the start and then makes your tummy feel like ick. Hope you hang in there you are always in my thoughts and prayers.

charles said...

Hi Cleva, just a thought about the BS. Was your friend was confused because the brother stopped calling or because his action put a damper on her perspective of a cool friendship?
Women do the same thing too and most men seem to be able to handle this for what it is. We don't call it dishonesty or being disrespectful. Those are easy words to describe our displeasure with someone's actions.
It would have been proper for him to say something to her about his loss of interest but that is his choice...BS takes place in friendships all the time, and maybe you'd have a different view if you were privy to the flip side of the coin...No rules that say he's got to explain...Disappointed, yeah. Disrespected, I don't think so.
Respect and honesty are earned credits both ways...
Like you said, this too shall pass.......Or did you?.....LOL....
Cool runnings Princess......C.....

Cleva said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cleva said...

Thanks Charles.

Be clear. I didn't make this a gender issue. ;) I've spoken with both men and women who take issue with this manner of ending a "friendship". The friend just so happened to be female. I can already see your slant. (shakin' my head)...LOL. This isn't a "we" vs "them" situation.



There's ALOT more to the situation actually. This wasn't a new friendship. They've known each other for a long time. I know both parties very well and have spoken to the dude involved...so I know the flip side. Yeah...disrespectful and dishonest.

Its very odd to say that when you have a situation where you've called someone a friend that its somehow NOT disrespectful and full of BS when you do something you KNOW will cause another person some hurt feelings. Come one now...really?

No rules? Well, its about honesty, TO ME. We all live by our own standards

Lastly, if this was about me, I'm honest enough to say it or you're not a regular reader of my blogs. In the same blog, I spoke of my bulimia so I'm sure I can speak on this situation.

No need to cover up.
Believe that.