Friday, July 4, 2008
Yesterday, I had the most interesting, funny, HONEST conversation with a friend. This dude so very wise for his age. I'll just say he's under 25 but I think is the most wise male I know. I've always told him that in 10 years he is going to be a truly amazing man. Anyway. It was a cool conversation that lead us to talking about the power of being honest in all situations. In the past, I've blogged heavily about appreciating honesty in its purest form. I don't mind hearing the hard stuff and I HATE for anyone to think I'm stupid. We spoke of how people say they want to hear it but can't really handle it.
The interesting part of the conversation was us talking about a mutual friend and his treatment of women. My young friend felt the women where not being honest with themselves so had to take some responsibility in the bull they found themselves in. At first, I was like hmmmmmmmmm...NO. I was a like, "No but he was lame." He said, "Yeah BUT where those women being honest with themselves about this dude?" I couldn't argue with him. He spoke of the honesty we expect from others, we should expect from ourselves first and foremost. I couldn't agree more. I wanted to just be on the side of the chicks because of the lameness of the friend but I knew they overlooked what their minds were telling them just to stay in the situation, hoping it would get better or take a turn. Like all situations, when you're not going in the right direction, first you'll see signs and warnings. If you don't heed to the warnings (not being honest with yourself), God will just turn you around and I never like it when that happens....ugh. LOL. He just smacks upside your head.
Why aren't we honest with ourselves? Its scary. Its hard to look in the mirror and say, this or that is wrong or I'm making bad decisions. We all have to learn to handle the truth, about ourselves and others. I've learned how to hear it. My ex and my mother, HONEST people...jeez. I learned to appreciate it though. You always know were you stand, you can make decsions for your life, and you can JUST deal with what you're hearing or feeling. When something is unsaid or lied about, its just something added to the pot when the truth comes out. I said, when the truth comes out. I remember actually snapping on my boss for withholding some info she thought would hurt my feelings. It wasn't even about ME but her withholding the info pissed me off and we had some words. I told her NEVER to assume I'm not able to hear it, whatever it is. I had to learn the hard way and I've earned these stripes. TELL IT.
I think this blog is kin to the blog about dissatisfaction.
Anyway, the conversation continued with my friend also sharing his appreciation of honesty and how most really can't deal. He reminded me that some people aren't built for it. They aren't wired to be able to be honest with themselves and others around them. He's right. I think you need to be able to handle whatever outcomes occur. This is why some aren't honest with themselves, I guess? (shrug) Somtimes, when its all on the table, you can see if its all worth it. Sometimes things (whatever the situation) can become stronger or needs to end. Sometimes we learn how to deal with the man or woman in the mirror better. Face the music.
At the end of the day, this was one of the most refreshing convos I've had in a minute. I think there's a couple of things I need to be honest about myself.
Honesty is the best policy.
integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people