A few weeks ago, I blogged about people keeping you in a box and then ascribing labels and meanings to who you are. I spoke of how much I hated it but then, today, I was looking at pictures of "Vanity". She also has been someone I've blogged about admiring. The "character" of "Vanity" is something use to connect to so deeply. I felt that her sexuality was her power as if she was some superhero able to destroy men with her wiles and sensual ways. I loved that. For years, I've spoken of my connection to this persona, "Vanity"- even today giving homage.
Something - that something being God said to go to Denise Matthew's facebook page and look around. So I did. We all know she's now an evangelist, so what was I looking for exactly? I went to her website for her upcoming book, "Blame it on Vanity". A very well done website that had me a little captivated. Denise is not longer in the "Vanity" box we still try to put her in. That life, that time wasn't what it seemed. She is Denise, a child of God. She is a woman that has overcome drug addiction and kidney failure. She has freed herself from the box but then, why do I still need her there? That's the only way I can look at it. The character of Vanity holds something endearing to me that may not be healthy. Hmmmmm.....on Denise's website she puts the definition up for "Vanity"
any thing or act that is vain, futile, idle, or worthless
So if words have power, imagine calling yourself, "Worthless" daily.
Do I see myself as worthless? No but I remember having a need for sexual power. I remember seeing it as some very crucial thing to have and to use it in very strategic ways. It was probably at a time when I connected most to this character named "Vanity". All of this is reflection and some revelation. Maybe God wants me to see that I've changed as well. I'm no longer the character I've created in my head and to remember this wonderful, focused, faithful Rhonda of today. I'm not in my box. I'm free. I need to free Denise in some ways. So many reject her wanting to be away from that persona because of the memories they've had. As I want freedom, at its most basic levels, I must respect the freedom of others to evolve and grow as they chose, even a celebrity I may never meet. She has written a book about her freedom, "Blame it on Vanity".
God is amazing how he will speak to your soul. Blame it On Love.
In the past few weeks, I've had the opportunity to have very brief conversations with Kevin Powell. Its very interesting to speak with someone with similar passions for community service. As someone who has been very transparent on her blog, I find this essay by Kevin refreshing. I just happen to see this on Facebook as someone posted it many months ago. Thanks KP.
I AM A SEXIST MALE.
I take no great pride in saying this, I am merely stating a fact. It is not that I was born this way-rather, I was born into this male-dominated society, and consequently, from the very moment I began forming thoughts, they formed in a decidedly male-centered way. My "education" at home with my mother, at school, on my neighborhood playgrounds, and at church, all placed males in the middle of the universe. My digestion of the 1970s American popular culture in the form of television, film, ads, and music only added to my training, so that by as early as age nine or ten I saw females, includ…
The Ankh is defined as: The symbolic representation of both Physical and Eternal life. It is known as the original cross, which is a powerful symbol that was first created by Africans in Ancient Egypt.
The Ankh is commonly known to mean life in the language of Ancient Kemet (land of the Blacks) renamed Egypt by the Greeks. It is also a symbol for the power to give and sustain life, the Ankh is typically associated with material things such as water(which was believed by Egyptians to regenerate life), air, sun, as well as with the Gods, who are frequently pictured carrying an Ankh. The Egyptian king is often associated with the Ankh also, either in possession of an Ankh (providing life to his people) or being given an Ankh (or stream of Ankhs) by the Gods. This can be seen in the picture of King Senworsert below who is holding two Ankhs to his chest. There are numerous examples that have been found that were made from metal, clay and wood. It is usually worn as …