Skip to main content

I wanna do what I wanna do.....



The battle of faith and patience is our own desires at times. We want to either rush the process or ignore it all together. I've witnessed people who have chosen to ignore what they KNOW God has for them or wants them to do simply because they just don't want to do it. Sometimes their feelings, emotions, etc cloud their obedience. God knows best. He knows the best job for you. He knows how to help your (his) child get through a tough time. He knows your "perfect" mate. He KNOWS. We are promised the desires of our hearts so God isn't going to provide you with things you don't want but there are times when it is all about what you need.

I've seen people try so hard to be disobedient that its scary. They wanna do what they wanna do. Free will. Go for it. I'm tied to the Universe, the Divine, God, Yeshua.....I'm obedient but I'm very impatient. I'm ready to move once I get the charge, the word....let's go do this. So I get frustrated with the process. I get frustrated with sitting around and waiting. If I'm suppose to do something, I'm ready to go. I hate waiting around; waiting for "It" to happen. Ugh. Its annoying but God is teaching me patience and to ENJOY life. I can tell the train is purposely slow so that I can embrace the journey.

Of course, I'm motivated by the world around me, its my muse so to speak and I watched a friend battle with obedience yesterday. Obedience won but it was a fight. So just do what you're suppose to do when you know your spirit calls you for a purpose or journey. Don't waste your time and God's time on getting you out of something you shouldn't have been doing in the first place. You see this with relationships so much (talkin' about me). I KNEW I shouldn't have been in a relationship with my ex. I think it was one of those times I can say that I heard God actually say, "NO". But did it anyway and YIKES.....the clean up is still in full effect. My battle was that I felt I loved him, and I can honestly say I did BUT we were always better friends than so -called lovers. We were awful in a relationship but fun and happy as buddies. We never listened to what we were clearly being told. There were days when I felt confused. I knew I loved him but I also knew this was somehow, wrong. We messed up what was supposed to be a very strong friendship trying to be something else.

We know when we are operating outside of obedience or that we need to listen intently. Our spirits let us know instantly. We get uncomfortable (Like I am now at the gig...time to go), we feel unfulfilled, and sometimes, I feel ill. God is with us, in us, around us......not somewhere else. When we are off the mark, we are no longer reflections of Him and you feel it, well, at least I do. We just have to be faithful that He will provide the career of our dreams, our children will be healthy and happy, we will find the love meant for us, etc. etc. etc.

Heed to your spirit.
Listen to God.
Love yourself.
Serve one another.



a song mom played almost every sunday.....
It Dont Cost Very Much - Mahalia Jackson

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Confessions of a Recovering Misogynist" by Kevin Powell

In the past few weeks, I've had the opportunity to have very brief conversations with Kevin Powell. Its very interesting to speak with someone with similar passions for community service. As someone who has been very transparent on her blog, I find this essay by Kevin refreshing. I just happen to see this on Facebook as someone posted it many months ago. Thanks KP. I AM A SEXIST MALE. I take no great pride in saying this, I am merely stating a fact. It is not that I was born this way-rather, I was born into this male-dominated society, and consequently, from the very moment I began forming thoughts, they formed in a decidedly male-centered way. My "education" at home with my mother, at school, on my neighborhood playgrounds, and at church, all placed males in the middle of the universe. My digestion of the 1970s American popular culture in the form of television, film, ads, and music only added to my training, so that by as early as age nine or ten I saw females, includ...

For Colored Girls: Seeing Red

After being very vocal about being Tyler Perry a less than favorite choice to direct an adaption of Ntozake Shange's "For Colored Girls who have considered suicide when the rainbow is enuf" or better known now as "For Colored Girls", I watched the movie feeling empty. I've seen myself in the colors of orange and green . I've empathized with the browns in my life. I know yellow and I know blue. Then there is RED . I could spend time examining the issues I had with the movie. I could also celebrate the power of dynamic words used to express OUR stories of various hues, depths, and struggles. The color red, Janet Jackson's character, disturbed me. This development of this character reeks of Perry's own personal agenda. He wanted to talk about the down low situation. He wanted to bring in HIV and so he did.  In spite of Janet's less than wonderful acting abilities, I was interested in how her story would play itself out. I heard about her. Th...