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Achin' in my bones




I love the song by Amel called Weary but never thought of myself as such but today, I am.

I've never been so physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted....well, not since the Kid was an infant. My body aches. My mind tries to think of creative things and I'm too tired to let anything manifest from my soul. WOW....

How to replenish myself is the question? Its almost like a test of sorts. So many women are alone and are single mothers who need to take the time to revitalize their spirits and don't know who. I'm wondering the same today. Its easy if you have someone there to rub ya feet, fix you dinner, and maybe even do some thinking for it. Its so hard to be IT. I'm tired and I'm struggling this week to pull it back together. I've never looked my worse. My nails, my feet and most days I don't wear makeup. Its like the hustle has me 100%. There's no time for all of that...right? Syd even made me take the time to get my eyebrows done. goodness.

I saw a woman at the bank today and she was so well groomed. I admired her. In my hustle, I've lost a little of me. In the past years of me really focusing on CWUW and Syd, I've let my body go. I've let ME go which is ironic because I've never been so happy with who I am as I am today. I love me. I'm so fly....I just feel soooooooooooooo tired.

I think I may take the time and just pray and allow God to replenish me.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Cleva,
I understand how you are feeling. Although I'm not a single mother but I'm still "IT" at home. The demand is great either way. My husband helps me with the kids and at home...Yes, I'm blessed. I work a salary job where my time is demanded whenever they say jump! I come home late in the evening with "baby we need do this, Mom can we do that." Most of the time my only me time I get is the 10 minutes from home to work and the 10 minutes from work to home. The "Achin' in my bones" I felt it was due to me be severly overweight (not ashamed still feel real sexy :) ) but I realize the importance of being healthy too...(I'm working towards that but have a LONG way to go). Then I thought the achin was from the fact that...well I will be 40 next year....and I think I feel it...but I know other women who are 40+ and just go on without a ache or pain.....Maybe they are the ones who take advantage of time and do "some me" time.

I think time plays a bigger role in our lives and we have to squeeze our seconds together and hope for the best of having time for ourselves. Maybe we should make some type of Declaration to our Independence as women and make the time......Not sure how well it will work.....but it's a start..I guess :)
March 8, 2009 at 11:12 AM
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