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Gratitude

So I'm driving home and the roads were icy. I pass over the bridge heading not far from my home and my car begins to spin.

I'm thankful no cars were coming from the opposite direction. I gain control of the car and get back into the lane and BAM, I'm hit hard from behind.

I'm shook.

I get out and look at the car. Some paint off the bumper and no other visible damage. The other chick was fine as well.

Called the insurance company and took care of all of that but still had to wait 2 hours for the police. They were cool but a little irritated they were called because no one was hurt and there was no huge damage.

There was a moment of me not wanting to take care of this. I'm like....DAMN. I just didn't want to be an adult.

But this morning, I woke up still shaken a bit by this accident. I couldn't understand why but God does provide some revelation. Me and Syd still have this anxiety about something happening to the other. She just told me that she "NEEDS" me to live until I'm 90 because I'm all she has. That weighs on me a lot. I can't afford to be in any accidents if that makes any sense. I know if I was even slightly hurt, the kid would have lost her little mind.

Its an unhealthy stress I've put on myself but I need to acknowledge its there. I'm thankful that I'm not hurt. I'm thankful the car is basically fine. I'm thankful God was very present last night. He knows we are still grieving from multiple deaths in the family and he knows we are better than we use to be. I am thankful I have the love of my child and I do pray she releases her fear of losing me. I need to let go of trying to control every thing so that nothing will happen to me for her sake.

So, revelation is a good thing. Gratitude for the smallest of things sometimes takes you the farthest.

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