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God....Again

What a week!

I complete the application for the org. I was feeling my oats (as my mom would say). I was smiling and crying and proud. Then its like the weirdest stuff started happening.

We had the darkness over us but not in a negative way...if that makes any sense. Me, Syd and some family members felt really heavy this season. It was hard. I was pissed that I couldn't just enjoy the season. We were all cryin' and stuff. I'm watching the Wiz and there goes Diana singing Home and there I go....CRYING. My car...you know the Caddy, was doing some funky stuff too. I'm like....Wha?

We get through the Christmas day and then the Kid had a horrible evening with someone stealing her purse. I wasn't shook but I was tired. It was all annoying. I'm like...ugh...but the day was filled with God speaking to me.

I received a long message from a woman on myspace who read my entire blog and was inspired. I was like...Whoa. It was a wonderful message and a blessing. It reminded me why I continue to do this. It made me smile and I was able to offer some encouragement to her. Then the Kid came and gave me the biggest hug. She let me know how lucky she felt to have a mom she can talk with and come to about anything. I smiled. Then I received another message but this time on facebook from someone who I've never spoken with....really. It was as if he was prophesing, something I've become a little leery of at times. It really was amazing.

God is letting me know I'm good and he is with me. I'm not depressed any of that BUT its tiresome to always be in problem solving mode. When I want to unplug...I really unplug. (not good. keep me chubby...lol)

The journey continues....this Christmas was an interesting one.

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I will never, ever, never, ever live in a box.


again.


If I can't be appreciated, celebrated, loved, and befriended with honestly and openly....with no conditions and controls.....then I can't be....for you.

I'm a good friend.  I'm a good person. I deserve good things from good people who really want to celebrate whatever connection I have with them....outside the box.


I'm free to be.