For the past 6 months, I put off writing the application for CWUWs 501c3. I tried to hire someone and that always failed. I knew it was meant for me to write it.
Today, when I started writing the check, I actually started crying and my hands started shaking. I sat there and just said, "It is done." It's taken me literally 8 years just to get to this point. I've had to go through ALOT to get here. Believe me, there were many distractions but made it. I pushed through my own self doubt and just believed that this is about God and not me (as I've always believed).
It was a moment of knowing I've been wholeheartedly working on the journey and willing taking the hits. Unfortunately, I've had to learn this year that I have to guard my spirit. This aches me but I know what needs to be done. As CWUW grows, more vampires, parasites, manipulators, etc will be ready to pounce and destroy either me or CWUW. When my cousin told me that I wasn't healed from the Valley completely, that really through me. I felt solid this year but I think she's right. I'm still the wounded fighter just willing to take the hit just so I won't fall but God wants me to know I can go and heal and comeback as a new champion.
Today is a good day. Today has provided me with such revelation. My spirit is so connected with God who got me here. I know he believed in me...again. I mean, folks get PAID for completing those apps for organizations so I'm proud. I can rest for a moment. We have some curriculum to develop for 2009, an event to plan (maybe), and volunteers to train. God is letting me know not everyone can go on the journey, some aren't equipped for whatever reason. Some have taken the connection and abused it and some are right with me. I value those that have treated me well and believe in me. I will no longer allow the slightest disrespect to me personally. I've allowed it...for some reason. I've played "NICE" this year. NOPE. No more.
I will not become a "Bitch" because its not me but I will be quite assertive in addressing the BS when it comes instead of letting people think I can't see it but that I've just accepted it. We all reap what is sown....including me. There are some seeds i was trying to plant in various people, situations, etc and they fell on dead ground and not always by my doing. I will watch my steps.
I am a beautiful person. :) I am human. I have feelings. I am real.
Very pleased with me.