Skip to main content

Vampire

you know the saying....let it go and if it comes back...blah, blah, blah

Don't you hate when you have to operate in cliches. Well here I am. Letting it go and believing that God's plan is better than mine. Believing that God will make it all work for good and that all things will be fine. So, I'm letting it go. Fly away. Have a good one. You are harmful to me in ways you don't even know because its all really about you. Sad but so true. Maybe while away, you'll learn some important lessons about not mistreating others. You can't protect yourself at the cost of others. That's lame. Its immature. Its selfish. Its sad. Its weak. Very weak. Its a punk move.

Happiness TRULY comes when we are honest with ourselves. When we can look in the mirror and be ok with who we are and not fake it, we will find peace. Unfortunately, there are some who are so selfish that they can't see their harm when it benefits them. Oh well. You will one day. You will reap your harvest. You can't beat God at his universal laws. So fly away. In your quiet moments, know that you caused harm, you were rude and unappreciative. In your quiet moments you must face that you can be extremely fake and so flawed that you think others can't see YOU. Or maybe you're scared, they do. And we do! I SAW you from the beginning even though I didn't say a word. I allowed some manipulation. I allowed you to say some bullshit because I knew you needed it. I wasn't gonna keep you away from your crack. You needed the hit.

Fly away. I've provided nothing but honesty and a geninue hand but your motives were twisted.....shhhhhhhhhhh secrets secrets secrets. All things in the dark come to the light but I'm not flippin' the switch. God will. He will make you FACE the real you. I thought I got that but I know I didn't. So sad. A powerful connection could have been had if all things were honest from the beginning. I made mistakes. You made mistakes. You are Lestat. Vampire. Smooth. Charming. Deadly to the soul. And here I am, Louis, trying to figure it all out but knowing to survive I must get away.....both guilty and innocent and torn. Louis was devoted to Lestat but was drained by his selfishness.

Fly away. Very far away. Sooooooooo far away that I want to think of you as a dream, a distant memory. If you return, it will be because God has allowed you to return to my world.

I will miss you. I really will.



No matter how long we exist, we have our memories. Points in time which time itself cannot erase. Suffering may distort my backward glances, but even to suffering, some memories will yield nothing of ther beauty or their splendor. Rather they remain as hard as gems.
Anne Rice, "Blood and Gold"

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Confessions of a Recovering Misogynist" by Kevin Powell

In the past few weeks, I've had the opportunity to have very brief conversations with Kevin Powell. Its very interesting to speak with someone with similar passions for community service. As someone who has been very transparent on her blog, I find this essay by Kevin refreshing. I just happen to see this on Facebook as someone posted it many months ago. Thanks KP. I AM A SEXIST MALE. I take no great pride in saying this, I am merely stating a fact. It is not that I was born this way-rather, I was born into this male-dominated society, and consequently, from the very moment I began forming thoughts, they formed in a decidedly male-centered way. My "education" at home with my mother, at school, on my neighborhood playgrounds, and at church, all placed males in the middle of the universe. My digestion of the 1970s American popular culture in the form of television, film, ads, and music only added to my training, so that by as early as age nine or ten I saw females, includ...
Post a Comment
Read more

For Colored Girls: Seeing Red

After being very vocal about being Tyler Perry a less than favorite choice to direct an adaption of Ntozake Shange's "For Colored Girls who have considered suicide when the rainbow is enuf" or better known now as "For Colored Girls", I watched the movie feeling empty. I've seen myself in the colors of orange and green . I've empathized with the browns in my life. I know yellow and I know blue. Then there is RED . I could spend time examining the issues I had with the movie. I could also celebrate the power of dynamic words used to express OUR stories of various hues, depths, and struggles. The color red, Janet Jackson's character, disturbed me. This development of this character reeks of Perry's own personal agenda. He wanted to talk about the down low situation. He wanted to bring in HIV and so he did.  In spite of Janet's less than wonderful acting abilities, I was interested in how her story would play itself out. I heard about her. Th...
Post a Comment
Read more