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Moment of Thanks

God.

Once again, I need a moment to show that I love Him. At every turn, God has shown me that he is with me. All he's ever asked of me is obedience. I still struggle with patience but I've learned that I will overcome that as well. We all carry a certain level of dogma even the most open minded person. I'll continue being a Christian until the day I leave this earth because this is where I've found peace and love. I believe that Jesus is the Way to peace. Even though I call him Yeshua, Jesus still works ;).

I'm amazed that God knows my strength and has faith in ME. I've carried a load and never turned away from loving him and praising him. I've cried lone. I've prayed quietly. I'm still flawed. I'm slightly neurotic, mistrusting and can be cold hearted about somethings but I'm working on getting better. God knows that I am. He's placed in my heart the gift of service and love for the forgotten. This is where I always want to be, in service. There are days when ideas flow so much that I'm overwhelmed. I try to do too much. I over extend myself or I don't do anything. He will teach me.

In the past few weeks, I've learned to check myself in my behavior. I've learned to allow people to leave without chase. I've also learned that some people want you to chase them. I've learned that sometimes you're just a moment in someones life or you are a part of their lifetime and many times, its not up to you, but them. I've learned that I've done a good job with the Kid. Hindsight you can always see the different things you could do differently or better but I think she is the person God wants her to be. She is well rounded, smart, sharp, candid, and self assured. God loves her so much. I can tell. She was purposed to be here. And its cool that she tells me alot what a great mom she thinks I am. I remember her telling me that if she's just half the woman I am, she'll be satisfied. I was floored! What a blessing?!! God is here with me and the Kid.

The most interesting thing about this life's Journey is that I have NO idea where I'm going. LOL.... I know what's up for the next week. I know what's on my schedule but I think God has a plan for me that I can't even see yet. I think God knows I'm not one to be afraid of success as you see so many who say that want the brass ring but are really scared of it all. I'm not. My goals are beyond CWUW. CWUW is my love and gift to the community but there's more to come. Its all in God's plan. I'm proud of CWUW but we have SO much more work to do. God is with us. Its his organization. Its his plan. I honor him with it. Its not Rhonda's organization. I rarely use the word, "I" when talking about CWUW. Its always been "We" even when it was just me. There's a burning fire in the pit on my stomach that keeps me moving and working hard to make it happen. God is keeping me focused. God is my Grind!

And lastly, the thing that I've blogged about but still comes up and I've even had harsh words with a friend about, MEN. Who is for Rhon? Its definitely going to certain type of man with some push back to partner with me. Believe it or not, God has put a submissive nature in me for the man I'm with. I value the ideas and listen carefully to the ideas of the person I'm with. There is NO way that I could do CWUW without the past relationships I've been in. It gets on my nerves when folks tell me that there must be some special dude guy has for me. My girlfriend, who is prophetic, even said that "the dude" for me is FOR me. He is here for me. Okaaaayyyyy. :/ I just wanna dude to chill with...lol. I'm down for whomever God has for me. Interesting though, I think this dude is gonna give me a run for my money. I think he will take me to task on my stuff and honesty will live in him. God has a way to give you what you both want and need. I'm know its gonna be GREAT! ;)

God I love you so.....I honor you with everything I do. Forgive me for my sins. I'm here to serve you.

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I will never, ever, never, ever live in a box.


again.


If I can't be appreciated, celebrated, loved, and befriended with honestly and openly....with no conditions and controls.....then I can't be....for you.

I'm a good friend.  I'm a good person. I deserve good things from good people who really want to celebrate whatever connection I have with them....outside the box.


I'm free to be.