Why was my immune system so compromised? STRESS. I was allowing LIFE to take over me, to control me. I behaved as if I had to just obey whatever situation that popped up, I had to obey whatever work that was thrown my way. I was killing myself. So, I was sick off and on for 3 months. During these months, I gained 20lbs. I was on my way to losing 30lbs extra prior to being sick. Let's do the math. 30+20=50lbs.
So what does this do to a person with an eating disorder? How do I make this right in my mind? How do I find the balance that I'm trying to teach others?
Rhonda vs Bulimia
The first thing I have to make peace with is that I'm still FLY. I'm still smart, funny, quirky, loving, etc. The scale doesn't change anything. Then I have to not blame myself. I've been sick. I've had trouble working out successful. Finally, I have to realize that I'm in control and I can successful lose 50lbs in a healthy way. There are no deadlines. I'm only losing weight to be healthy - not for vanity, CWUW, or anything or anyone else.
There are no scales in my home anymore. I used to weigh myself daily...yes, daily. I will lose weight and shape my body into the image that I want. [loving the selfishness of this blog] Freedom starts in releasing our minds from self-imposed prisons. Freedom is now. Remember, I said this is the Year of Me and I still mean it. God is doing a great work in me with this issue but its time to stop the on-going battle and just win the damn war.
[No editing....leaving the typos and the mess ups - Therapy]