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Ego Tripping








What is Ego?

Definition please:


e⋅go

[ee-goh, eg-oh]
1. the “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought.
2. Psychoanalysis. the part of the psychic apparatus that experiences and reacts to the outside world and thus mediates between the primitive drives of the id and the demands of the social and physical environment.
3. egotism; conceit; self-importance: Her ego becomes more unbearable each day.
4. self-esteem or self-image; feelings: Your criticism wounded his ego.
5. (often initial capital letter) Philosophy.
a. the enduring and conscious element that knows experience.
b. Scholasticism. the complete person comprising both body and soul.



tripping


A [state of mind] brought on by experiencing a different state of consciousness- mostly through vast changes in perception, senses and thought patterns




Analysis

We all ego trip. I do it. You do it. We do it.

Ok.

What then brings about balance?
Humility

–noun, the quality or condition of being humble;
[modest opinion or estimate] of one's own importance, rank, etc.


Now, folks, we're not talking about false or fake humility when you KNOW you need to be humble and force yourself to feel humility cuz Ego wants to come out and play.

I can actually say that I don't see alot of Ego issues in the work that I do. I think because no matter what, in what we do, its not about us. We speak more about incompetence than anyone EGO tripping. Not to say it isn't there, it maybe just manifests differently.

Expanding outside the walls of social service and community based...well, anything....the battle of the ID is more prominent making me look at myself more and more about my attitude towards my purpose and giftings.

"Humility before Honor"

This was my signature before CWUW was truly birthed. My Valley days had me face ME daily. I learned true humility being stripped of family, friends, and finances and I have to do all I can never to forget those times and yet move forward.

I've had to question and think through what vibrations am I putting out into the universe. I always have had to do a self examination of how I'm perceived. I'm not quick to talk with people and I do ask questions. That puts off some but its my own way.....and its hard to balance being who you authentically are and not put off others.

The word intimidating is constantly thrown my way.

I'm learning also that my sarcasm is off putting at times even though I'm sitting here giggling.

So I'm learning to strike the balance. I'm still learning that sometimes people need something from you and you have to open yourself up to that need also long as it doesn't cross any boundary.

Ego Tripping

I've witnessed the EGO trip in others and I really don't ever want to go on that ride. I'm not as important as my purpose. I live for it and it doesn't live for me. My talents and purpose can be stripped and moved to someone else OR it will never be truly revealed if I don't become humble before it and the ONE who provides all things.

Even with CWUW, we are still babies. I tell folks everyday we are far from where we need to be. The PERCEPTION is that we are a well oiled machine. I always let folks know that we are still gathering parts but the parts we have are working and moving forward. We are doing the best we can with being "virtual" organization and trying to establish a new paradigm in health and wellness for Indianapolis. I try not to TRIP on our failings. We learn and grow and move on.....but

I'm protective of this purpose.

I can't and won't apologize for this. Its what I've been given stewardship over. Its in my care for a reason. I understand why people have been give visions. Its for YOU. You are to birth this baby and with your children, you protect it from harm. I do the same with CWUW without apology.

Nothing to do with EGO.

I would never harm another persons vision because of my own needs. I understand it. I support it. I expect the same. I'm not giving my child over to anyone that will do it harm. Would you? So I don't make apologizes for questioning ones intentions towards me or my work.
At the same time, I don't mind being questioned. I actually long for the challenge to my thoughts. I think this is where my inner circle comes in, my sisters. They will ask, challenge, and question me. I need that. I really really do.



At the end of the day....

Just apologize.

If your EGO decides to get the best of the trip and takes you on the ride. Open your mouth and just apologize. I think I get concerned that I either come off too mean or sensitive especially when neither is taking place. Its important to really think about what you've done to the other person, and sincerely apologize.

I'm sorry. Acknowledge your mess up. Acknowledge what you've done to THEM not how your mess up effects you. [EGO TRIPPING] I've seen this happen so many times. I'm like....whoa....

There were times this year I've had to say, "I'm sorry". I snapped at one of my CWUW Crew members at Life Jam. I came back and apologized immediately. My stress level was high, other things had occurred to upset me, and I took it out on her. I'm thankful that she knows I wasn't being mean spirited but I had to do it. I couldn't just take for granted that she would just forgive and forget without my apology.



The Ego:


It can be a self check. We can use it to check ourselves in how we approach others and even how we view ourselves. Nothing wrong with being confident and self-assured but those things don't case harm or hurt feelings.


Never let Ego take you way from Divinity.











































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I will never, ever, never, ever live in a box.


again.


If I can't be appreciated, celebrated, loved, and befriended with honestly and openly....with no conditions and controls.....then I can't be....for you.

I'm a good friend.  I'm a good person. I deserve good things from good people who really want to celebrate whatever connection I have with them....outside the box.


I'm free to be.