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got God?

me and you but you and you and you how do you survive with only you and you and you what about me and her and him and they I me my no we, unless you want it, no they, unless you say so you hurt, you hurt, you hurt who hurt you you you you la la la you you you selfishness

The power of the Mirror. Thinking about so situations that some of my friends are in and even myself. When I person harms you, we think they just walk away never looking back. We all have to look in the mirror at some point and deal with how we mistreated or harmed another person we've said we loved, liked, cared, or admired. God provides a time when we must harvest what we've reaped this is why revenge is unnecessary. We can't walk away from the mirror. We can THINK we are happy and ok with our ill treatment of another but we can never have peace as long think its ok to treat someone badly without apology. There's nothing you can do if you've been wrong or treated badly but let God handle it. A wise person will wake up and make amends with his/her maker first and then, if possible, ask for forgiveness. But there are some who will never "get it" because they are focused themselves and not how they treat others. God does make all of us face the music...

My new gig is cool. I've made my return to HIV/AIDS education and prevention and gender equality. I'm happy. I'm happy period. There are so many things that I want to "fix" but I can't. What am I to do? Nothing. The kid getting her to college is in the prime spot for my focus these days along with all things CWUW. We talk alot about arriving at this stage in her life and her future. I admire my kid because she has come through situations some adults wouldn't be able to handle. I can smile when I look at her. She makes me happy. Most of my happiness is internal. Its not about things necessarily. I get very excited when I see God's plan manifest. I find incredible joy when I know that God's hand is at work. Its comforting. I've learned that people disappoint and are limited. I don't mean that in a negative way actually but its just how it is. God is limitless. I'm truly embracing HIS plan. There have been disappointments ...

Maybe the timing was off just a bit your world is in confusion and I am here but leave me be Go away and live the life you've made for you I'm not the one to fill the emptiness in your soul so leave me be You call me Queen beautiful and special actions can only touch me ears lacking respect for me and the one that loves you more Leave me be to find someone real and true and honest full of integrity not hidden behind insecurities relationships and secrecy Another life, you and I maybe but for now leave me be in the past months - I've just been amazed with the number of "attached" men talking to me......just go away. Go be with your chick. If its not for you, then end it but don't try to become entangled with someone else. Man up and leave or Man up and deal with the complexities of any relationship.....AND leave me be. ya heard. :) nipple to the bottle - Grace Jones

GUILTY as charged. Let me say that before I start my rant. Ok. Now, let's go. I've said so many times that I observe so much and sometimes say so little and I continue to be amazed that people assume they are getting away with whatever. Doesn't it seem, though, that the very thing we complain about in others, we do ourselves. I've seen folks get up in arms about a situation or this or that. "He did this and I can't believe he did this...." or "How inconsiderate she was....I can't believe"....blah, blah, blah and then turn around and do the same things to other people. What is that about? I'm sure I do the same thing so this isn't some indictment of any one person but just how we all need to do a better job of paying attention to our words and deeds. "Treat people as you would like to be treated." Remember that one. And sometimes we think we're doing just that until someone points it out. Now there are slip ups ...

Yesterday I realized that I had not seen my kid. Well sorta.....well not really. She's working, playing ball and being a teenager. I sent her a message last night telling her that I missed her. She agreed that we don't see alot of each other. We used to have dinner every payday. It was a way for us to catch up, laugh and be stupid. It was our now famous, "mommy/sydney time". I realized that in me running around for CWUW and her trying to complete her senior year, we have been missing each other. Today was senior pics. I was running late and when I walked in they were taking pics. I just smiled. She looked so pretty. She handled the whole thing and mom could just walk in and chill. We came home and just bugged out. She made me smile. I love that Kid.

Silence can loudly express all that I feel walking through the wilderness no longer in the Valley but still struggle to find a clearance a path Warrior insight keeps me moving up up up knowing I will find my way guided by my Spirit but at times feeling blinded On today I see the world through different glasses shades of blues and yet I rise Born to lead born to withstand life's pressures regal in every moment I am provides my great rewards Man is cursed for crossing me and Blessed for loving me I know my greatness even through the darkest wilderness always seeing the forest for the trees I rise

Twisted mind only speaking to my spirit the little girl inside who cries alone looking to the heavens for comfort knowing that I maybe be allowed to sit in my madness to learn some lesson a torturous teachable moment I feel the battle of my soul happening as I speak pushing and pulling as I'm a wondrous prize who will win? can my mind fight off the confused state that only comes from evil or will I allow the light that believes in me, win seeking out the answer in my spirit searching for the light in the darkness longing for the love I miss in the loving arms of family gone positioned as mother, friend, leader today wanting to just be me and to be nothing, to no one tired in my bones

Personally, I believe we all have a purpose. Some of people are not called to work with the public and especially with people in need. Its hard for me to switch gears and stop being an advocate even when I'm being treated at the doctors office. Burn-out is normal for people working in public health and social work. I can tell you from personal experience in working with HIV, its a lot to deal with. Early on, we had to face death daily. You hear horrible stories of abuse, addiction, etc. It does become quite tiresome. When you've become tired, use your vacation. Take a break. Do something. Why would anyone who is already ill want to deal with someone evil in front of them? You're adding to their stresses. I do understand being tired. There were days would I would allow my staff to close the door and chill. We'd just play music and talk. We needed to take advantage of the downtime and heal ourselves. So I can relate. I don't care for cynicism. If you...

Ok, I heard this dude say this the other day tell his girl, "Stop pissin' around me!" She said, "Oh shut up!" Man, I cracked up. Me and my ex use to yell at each other all the time those exact words. What does that really mean? You're in a relationship. You dig the person. Why is it a negative thing to show some PDAs all of a sudden? Cause its all of a sudden AND it reeksssssssssss of marking your territory. I would always laugh it off when the ex would say that to me. He would do the same thing when some brother was staring too hard or whatever. It was was never deep but annoying. I would yell, "Stop touching me!!" and he would laugh cuz he knew I was calling him out on "pissin' around me". Of course, there are times when you are proud of the person you're with but its all about motives. You know when you're just trying to make a point - 'BACK THE F**K UP!!" LOL Stop pissin' Just a little funny obse...

Tuesday October 14, 2008 Reminder: Rhonda, your strength is your discernment, judging motive and intent, judging good and evil. Use it. Don't be guided by those blinded in their own misgivings. You are strong. You are smart. Don't reduce yourself to make others feel comfortable in their skin. Make them rise. You are REAL. Your realness is admired. Be Rhonda.

I've laid by your side and kissed your lips I've embraced her once again, feeling her love as if she never transcended I've moved through time to see another side of me I've heard secrets revealed I've seen the future I've spoken with the Divine, I've heard his voice so clearly as birds in the dawn I've envisioned fanciful tales of knights and ladies I've rebuked evil in its purest form I've seen my child grow I've touched the heavens and the oceans at the same time I've smiled again, again, and again I've dreamed.

If I gotta learn this learn - ya'll do too! :) READ! How to Take Revenge http://www.kencollins.com/disc-29.htm Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. —Romans 12:17-21, NIV I f you have ever been horribly wronged, you have felt an overwhelming desire for revenge. Once, when some kids in my old neighborhood slashed the tires on my car, I found myself consumed with a desire to secretly slash the tires of their cars. Once a young drug addict b...

You know when you get that "thing" in your stomach that tells you something just ain't right. I have that "thing" going on about couple of situations. One, I'm a smart chick. I see even when I don't say. I've blogged before how some people think because you don't say anything OR you give them opportunities (chances) that somehow you can't see the game. That's foolish and its foolish of me because I guess in not saying anything, I'm suggesting that its ok. Pffst. Whatever. I watch folks. Their words and deeds need to be in alignment with what they say. We all are hypocrites so I'm not saying that perfection is what I"m looking for but some sort of integrity. You know in customer service they tell you if you give good customer service the customer service, the customer may tell one or two people but if you give bad service they will tell 10 or more. YIKES. That goes along with other forms of relationships. People ta...

"Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it." -- William Arthur Ward, author and teacher Say thank you. So simple. Not having gratitude is dangerous. Burns bridges. Turns people away. If your business is built on formulating the right types of relationships, its very unwise not to value each contact as if its the road to your success. Say thank you.

Over the past few days, in my spirit, all I can hear is "Silence". There is something I want to say and do and God tells me, "Silence". (sigh, pout, sigh) Its so arrogant of me to think I can handle it (and everything). Remembering that God can see the outcome, is important but I feel like I need to speak up, say something, defend me, etc, etc. God says...... Silence.... (sigh) This is a lesson to be learned. I believe that if we're capable of doing something, let us do it. I'm not a lazy believer BUT I need to be an obedient one. I believe the proverbial crap is about to hit the fan for someone and I guess I wanted to be the one throwing the crap. Yeah, awful but whatever. I do admit my flaws and I swear God's timing is off. (gigglin') He moves so slowwwwwwwwwly. :) Anyway....if its silence he wants, its silence he gets. shhhhhhhhh

Arrogance diminishes wisdom -an Arabian proverb Arrogance - offensive display of superiority or self-importance; overbearing pride. Wisdom - knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action; sagacity, discernment, or insight. Confidence - full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing Ok, now that I have all the definitions out there, let me get started. I believe whole-heartedly that people are given talents or "gifts". Everyone. EVERYONE. Do I need to say it again..... all of us mofos hold within us gifts that serve our purpose here on the planet. So why are people arrogant? There's a difference in being confident and being arrogant and its funny to watch folks scramble around with the two when you call them out on being an arrogant prick. "Nah, I'm just confident and people can't handle it." No, you're an ass. I think what is even worse is false humility coupled with the bs. ...

It is necessary to the happiness of man that he be mentally faithful to himself. Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving, it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe. Thomas Paine

How do you honor God? How do you demonstrate your beliefs and your stance? After the Valley, I actually stopped going to "church" in the traditional sense. I found it full of BS. Please don't misunderstand. I'm as faithful as I've ever been. I remain a follower of Yeshua's teachings but I have distance myself from the "church". What does the Christian life look like? Is it full of "Blessed and highly favored" cliche' comments or is it what you DO? I look around and see mega churches and not mega food pantries, shelters and soup kitchens. I look around and see the "church" serving its own members and not reaching out into the community and loving those left out in the cold by their families, friends and yes, the church. I remember teaming with a women's ministry on providing some outreach. The pastor said to her congregation, "We're going to help Rhonda in reaching the unsaved and unchurched." I wa...

Whose loss is it when you reach out to a friend and the friend pulls their hand away they turn as if you provide nothing needed but inside their spirits stir a feeling of loss, confusion presents itself with every mention of your name What do you do when you know the reason for the friendship and you walk in purpose and the other party is in darkness blindly, do you continue feeling the hurt of a friendship deferred The revelation of this is purposed just as much as the reason you're there Never turning from the purpose or plan but very disappointed in the outcome Lost in the notion of what could have been for a sisterhood gone And yet knowing my obedience will be rewarded. I guess the lesson is that you never take any relationship for granted, big or small Seeing them through the eyes of the Most High who provides guidance in all things Move towards enlightenment and just allow God to judge complete the plan.

love is the possibility of you and me one gentle kiss on a cheek caress your lips with my lips smile at your smile longing for you secretly only letting you know smallest of emotions but you are my dream confused in my reality that seems perfect my dreams are my desire God hear my cry for sanity remove this passion what is wrong with me new experiences cloud my judgment right from wrong use to be easy now wrong feels right and right seems more like something i'm suppose to do unreal clear my mind and I see touched you in the midnight hour day dreams never cease because you are a part of my soul too scared to let you go too scared to move in this reality visions of you are like rain drops so many love can never be said but is felt when I think of you in the darkness of the night (wrote with my eyes closed, put down whatever came to mind)

Ok, its official, I now know our Life Jam event will be successful because Satan is trying to throw some bumps in the rode. LAST MINUTE stuff. The person handling sponsorships just got news she may not be able to be at the event because of a conference in Chicago and then I was notified that there's a conference in TN that I need attend for the new gig. Its weird the stuff I'll stress over and the stuff I'll let go. I'm not worried at all. I'll be at Life Jam and it'll be fun! Its all a good sign that we're on the right track. We Satan feels the need to get involved, you're doing the right thing. Yeah!! :) next...... A friend lost his dad. :( I feel for him and I guess we are all getting to the age this is possibility. Death sucks. and...... I'm always loving on my kid and braggin'. That's what a momma is suppose to do right but this weekend the kid proved she's a warrior. She was loaded with activities this weekend from work, sch...