ClevaWords

In 1995, it was the first time I volunteered at an AIDS service organization (ASO) and in 2011, I'm still working at an ASO.  Most of those years, I was directing my efforts towards working with women to reduce OUR risk of HIV.  I love working with women but the health disparities facing black women made the work even harder.  Our attitudes towards our bodies, our lives was and is our barrier to living healthy. We have to first agree to take responsibility for our choices. Forget the so called down low brother. Forget blaming others for our own actions.  I've come across many women who stayed in relationships when they knew their partner was cheating. I've come across many women who don't talk about condom use with their partner. I've come across many women who won't get tested for HIV and other STIs.  At some point, we have to look into the mirror and agree that our bodies, our lives are valuable and we need to take care of ourselves. It should be said that...

After being very vocal about being Tyler Perry a less than favorite choice to direct an adaption of Ntozake Shange's "For Colored Girls who have considered suicide when the rainbow is enuf" or better known now as "For Colored Girls", I watched the movie feeling empty. I've seen myself in the colors of orange and green . I've empathized with the browns in my life. I know yellow and I know blue. Then there is RED . I could spend time examining the issues I had with the movie. I could also celebrate the power of dynamic words used to express OUR stories of various hues, depths, and struggles. The color red, Janet Jackson's character, disturbed me. This development of this character reeks of Perry's own personal agenda. He wanted to talk about the down low situation. He wanted to bring in HIV and so he did.  In spite of Janet's less than wonderful acting abilities, I was interested in how her story would play itself out. I heard about her. Th...

I'm listening to some of the best intellectuals we have in Black culture make their cases for why Essence magazine has done a bad thing.  I'm reading women and men screaming out about this injustice of our beloved magazine hiring a white woman as the Fashion Director.  Normally, you would see me ready to go to battle over any injustice, any issue where I can see that one group will be held down, held back from being able to actively participate equal at the table. I'm not ready for battle.  Black's only?  Is the issue simply around her being white  or do we know more about her qualifications for being a fashion editor? I understand the disappointment and anger about this but I'm concerned that we've solely wrapped this commentary around her whiteness and not included any discussion about work history and qualifications. Admittedly, I haven't stayed up on this particular issue with Essence other than the immediate responses given once the word got out...

Working in the health field can be overwhelming being a black woman. You hear the stats that rarely have any good news for black women. HIV, diabetes, lupus, heart disease, breast cancer....and the list goes on and on. Then you have those that tell us that we are the least desired (Black women and Asian men) in the US. Personally, I've always gotten more attention from non-American black men but understand what has happened to the psyche of some of brothers. I can't blame them 100%. But what does all of this do to the mindset of Black women living in the US? How do we push through the fact that we may end up unmarried, left as single mothers, and have to raise a family financially alone? AND then get blamed for why black children have certain issues? I even had a brotha tell me that me being educated is a part of the problem for black men. (sigh) He said that black women are being used as tools to break down black men because we are being "trained" seek out p...

This is for my sisters. He left you. He left you with the kids, the bills, and the mess. It hurts but there's a responsibility to our children that we must keep. My sisters don't take the time to heal and we sometimes see this manifest in our bitterness and attitudes towards men and each other. It may manifest in our health (emotional eating, stress, etc.). We need to take the time to heal. Start dealing with the hurt feelings, pray, fast, seek therapy, connect with other sisters or however healing needs to take place in your life but let it begin. Out of sight isn't out of mind. Just because he's gone doesn't mean that time will heal all wounds because it doesn't. You still have your children who may remind you of that relationship. I've seen women take out their pain on a specific child because that child reminded them of the man that left. Its unfair. I'm here to tell you that you can move forward without being bitter. We need to take resp...